Being Your Own Hero
Sometimes, being your own hero means noticing and acknowledging the victories no one else sees — the victories that are not recognized by others.
How would these tea trees describe the forest? Or the people who are walking around here? One small and young tree on the edge of the forest might say that people are very tiny creatures, like ants because the path where they walk is far away from her and she has never really seen a person very close. And the forest… “Well, this is a nice, quiet and colorful, but shady, place.” The branches and leaves of bigger and older trees are creating an airy roof over her.
Another tree next to a narrow path might think that people are big creatures who sometimes make cacophonous sounds, while at other times they are mellow and create wonderful sounds, similar to birdsong. “Oh, wow, one of these big creatures is hugging my trunk right now,” might be her thought.
This trail of thoughts came into my mind as I was hiking together with forty other people down a narrow and hilly road in a tea forest on the second day of annual Global Tea Hut trip to China (in 2018). It was a foggy morning near Anxi. The forest was magical in the fog-light: spiderwebs, red blossoms, birdsong, moist air, moss on the tea trees, one abandoned kettle in the middle of the forest, which has probably been at the heart of numerous great tea sessions, and lovely people all around me…
The truth is I had no idea what these trees might be thinking or how they might experience our presence there. They are connected, but at the same time very different from us, having their own roots, trunks, experiences and their own truths — or so it seemed…
And when I say that, I don’t mean big fireworks or emotional roller coasters; I mean whispers inside me that I finally paid attention to.
A Path to Truth
In Sanskrit, the word “satya” means truth. It is also referring to being truthful in one’s thoughts, speech and actions. There have been times in my life when I was an eager student, and other times when I didn’t want to learn at all, but life forced me to.
I learned, memorized lots of things as a child, teenager and young adult: facts, poems, formulas, hand-crafted skills, stories as well as behavior, reactions, responses, what to say, what not to say or when and how to show or hide your emotions and express your thoughts — but I wouldn’t call any of that “satya,” or “truthful living.”
Some years ago, after almost three decades of living such programs, I got to the point where cleanup was necessary. By sorting out all these emotions, stories, facts, beliefs and behavior, I found that many of these lifeways actually didn’t resonate with me at all. These things weren’t supporting me, though I carried them with me for years.
I felt like my life had been a big sale and I had bought too many meaningless things without really thinking about it, just because they were cheap. I had followed my desires and old thought patterns. I had wasted my time, energy, money and space. But I did my best at that time because I didn’t know a better way to live. The ways I followed were educated and socialized into me, after all.
Being Fully & Completely Alive
Being in different tea forests, tea factories and the homes of Chinese people who have fully dedicated their lives to tea growing and processing during our ten-day trip, and hearing talks about the characteristics of living and healthy tea, I started to think about the characteristics of a truly living and healthy person, the one who really 100% lives his or her life.
Aren’t the characteristics that make a living tea the same for a person? Don’t we need room to grow, letting our own branches grow? Allowing room to develop strong and deep roots? We also need full biodiversity and natural ecology that supports our growth.
We need a clean environment (mentally, emotionally and physically), and food and water to be in our best shape. (Agrochemicals aren’t good for us either.) We need to exercise our bodies, rest, find peace and quietness inside. The relationship between us and others, but more importantly our own relationship with ourself, must be one of respect and reverence. And perhaps most importantly, we need to be ourselves, stick to our truth and path.
There are no trophies, there’s not any encouraging pats on the shoulder. There’s just you left to congratulate yourself.
Being Your Own Hero
Such simple, yet not easy to achieve, insights were in my mind, wishes and even prayers as I sat for tea in many sessions during the trip, or stood in front of the statue of Guanyin in Hong Kong, wishing for fulfillment in this way. Simply being quiet, feeling humbled, helped facilitate magical moments that touched and changed things inside me.
And when I say that, I don’t mean big fireworks or emotional roller coasters; I mean whispers inside me that I finally paid attention to. Whispers that brought me closer to myself, to my satya, and to the things that really mean a lot to me: being honest and truthful with myself; being kind to myself; being kind to people, animals, Nature and all things around me; being there for the ones I love; replacing some old stories, behavior and reactions with new healthy ones; practicing self-love; and stopping my quest for excuses about why I can’t do the things I dream of doing.
Sometimes, being your own hero means noticing and acknowledging the victories no one else sees — the victories that are not recognized by others. There are no trophies, there’s not any encouraging pats on the shoulder. There’s just you left to congratulate yourself. But you can tell that you have changed, because you think, react, feel and behave differently. You live your truth.
